The Tail of Lizzy

A bright green lizard just crawled under my front door. He was about 6 inches long, and rather cute, so I instantly said "I shall name you Lizzy!But you can't stay here Lizzy, you must be an outdoor lizard, so out you go!"

I got a bowl and manila envelope to try and catch him. I decided I could put the bowl over him, slide the manila envelope under it, and take Lizzy back out side.

Lizzy didn't like that idea much, so he started up the wall, thus earning the notice of the giant ball of fur we call a dog.

(can you see where this is going?)

I'm tying to catch Lizzy. Furball is trying to EAT Lizzy and Lizzy does not want any of that. So Lizzy tries to make a break for it. Right at me. Now, I'm screeching in that girl meets spider/bug/insect voice, Furball is scrambling on the tile trying to catch the tasty green morsel that is getting away, Izzy is terribly excited by all the commotion, and Lizzy is making a mad dash for the toy box, which offers apparent lizard sanctuary.

I am, of course, in between the dog, the lizard, and the toy box. So I am dodging Lizzy, trying not to get barreled over by a giant ball of fur, and shrieking like a school girl. Lizzy makes it to the toy box, which just send Furball into a toy box knocking over tizzy of spasmodic proportions.

He catches the lizard.

Now I am yelling at the dog to let go of the lizard, and get the dog out of the house, so when he lets go, Lizzy can be free.

No such luck. Lizzy is no more.

I put Furball outside, just in case lizards don't digest well, if you know what I mean.

I walk back in, and Izzy hands me the still twitching tail of Lizzy. Just what every mother wants, a twitching lizard tail from their toddler. I'm just glad he didn't try to eat it.

This is my life, I swear to you, I could not make this up!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bwahahahaha! Added to not eating it, at least it didn't get put into an orifice either. I think lizard tail removal from a toddler's nose would be a new one for any ER.

Chickie said...

RIP, Lizzy. We hardly knew ye.

I'll let lizards stay inside because I figure they'll eat any bugs that get in. But, I've got two dogs that wouldn't eat a lizard to save their life. Oliver will nosh on moths though.

AmyD said...

LMAO... I'm dyin!!!! I can just picture Izzy with the twitching tail.

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