Just a quick pop in to let you know that I am still entertaining the Mother in Law, and will return once she is gone on Tuesday!
My crazy mother in law arrived last night. (Yes the same one who thinks she loaded Palmer 5 grand when he was TWELVE)
If you are reading this, send help in the form of pills, booze, ear plugs, what ever you got to help me get through the next two weeks.
Or else, I'm afraid I slowly descend into madness...
Ok, no slowly about it - I'm in a fast car and heading straight there.
If you are reading this, send help in the form of pills, booze, ear plugs, what ever you got to help me get through the next two weeks.
Or else, I'm afraid I slowly descend into madness...
Ok, no slowly about it - I'm in a fast car and heading straight there.
Dear Weatherman
Considering your grossly inaccurate forcasting skills and complete lack of regard for anything remotely related to the truth, I regret to inform you that I can no longer continue this toxic relationship.
Oh yes, I wanted to believe you. I wanted to do just what you said. "Today will be beautiful, the perfect day to spend outdoors, before the summer really hits" You said. I was seduced by your words. I thought, how can you, MY weatherman, lead me astray? Haven't you always had my very best weather well-being at heart?
So I planned my day.
I put on those cute denim capris that are a little warmer and less "breathing" than shorts
I went out to enjoy my day.
The day that YOU promised would be a perfect 92 degrees, with barely any humidity and not a drop of rain to pester those fluffy white clouds.
You. LIAR.
Those perfect clouds were black and heavy. That air that was supposed to remind me of my native DRY desert - was horrid, humid, and sticky
My cute denim capris - MISERABLE hot.
I listened to you, and you broke my heart... or at least made me break a sweat.
So screw you, Mr. Fox Weatherman.
SCREW YOU
Considering your grossly inaccurate forcasting skills and complete lack of regard for anything remotely related to the truth, I regret to inform you that I can no longer continue this toxic relationship.
Oh yes, I wanted to believe you. I wanted to do just what you said. "Today will be beautiful, the perfect day to spend outdoors, before the summer really hits" You said. I was seduced by your words. I thought, how can you, MY weatherman, lead me astray? Haven't you always had my very best weather well-being at heart?
So I planned my day.
I put on those cute denim capris that are a little warmer and less "breathing" than shorts
I went out to enjoy my day.
The day that YOU promised would be a perfect 92 degrees, with barely any humidity and not a drop of rain to pester those fluffy white clouds.
You. LIAR.
Those perfect clouds were black and heavy. That air that was supposed to remind me of my native DRY desert - was horrid, humid, and sticky
My cute denim capris - MISERABLE hot.
I listened to you, and you broke my heart... or at least made me break a sweat.
So screw you, Mr. Fox Weatherman.
SCREW YOU
Dear Boring Webinar Company,
After an extensive and exhaustive polling process (aka talking to my friend) we (well,I - but we sounds so much more official) have determined that your webinars are extremely dull and dry. But don't dispare! (a little added drama to get them on the hook) Dayle's Webinar Enhancement Services are here! (Catchy business title, no?) For a nominal fee (and by nominal I mean write me a great big fat check) DWES (hum, that sounds like a radio station. I may have to change the name) can enhance your webinars so that your target audience (my friend) is no longer disinterested (reduced to tears) about viewing your webinars. You may choose from one or more (more! Choose more! so I can charge more!) of the following webinar enhancements;
Fun narrator voices. (My hubby is pretty good at funny voices) Nothing says pay attention to me like a webinar read by Arnold Schwarzenegger, or a kooky french accent, or the sexy latin lover. Or even Elmer Fudd! After all the very word "webinar" is right up Elmer's alley.
Or you could have a host of fun animated characters (stick figures drawn by yours truly) who pop up from time to time during the webinar process. Perhaps a little mouse who will make fun balloon animals in the bottom corner of the screen. Or the bowlegged cowboy who swaggers across the screen just to shoot holes in the webinar. Or my favorite - the little old lady who give the finger (no doubt what your poor webinar viewers have wanted to do to you!)
Or the "sound enhancement" package, including farts, burps, and various other and sometimes unidentifiable body sounds (I intend to follow my sons around with a microphone... an hour should yield enough sounds for several webinars)
Sincerely,
Dayle (who has way to much time on her hands, and should be cleaning rather than making up fake letters to companies)
After an extensive and exhaustive polling process (aka talking to my friend) we (well,I - but we sounds so much more official) have determined that your webinars are extremely dull and dry. But don't dispare! (a little added drama to get them on the hook) Dayle's Webinar Enhancement Services are here! (Catchy business title, no?) For a nominal fee (and by nominal I mean write me a great big fat check) DWES (hum, that sounds like a radio station. I may have to change the name) can enhance your webinars so that your target audience (my friend) is no longer disinterested (reduced to tears) about viewing your webinars. You may choose from one or more (more! Choose more! so I can charge more!) of the following webinar enhancements;
Fun narrator voices. (My hubby is pretty good at funny voices) Nothing says pay attention to me like a webinar read by Arnold Schwarzenegger, or a kooky french accent, or the sexy latin lover. Or even Elmer Fudd! After all the very word "webinar" is right up Elmer's alley.
Or you could have a host of fun animated characters (stick figures drawn by yours truly) who pop up from time to time during the webinar process. Perhaps a little mouse who will make fun balloon animals in the bottom corner of the screen. Or the bowlegged cowboy who swaggers across the screen just to shoot holes in the webinar. Or my favorite - the little old lady who give the finger (no doubt what your poor webinar viewers have wanted to do to you!)
Or the "sound enhancement" package, including farts, burps, and various other and sometimes unidentifiable body sounds (I intend to follow my sons around with a microphone... an hour should yield enough sounds for several webinars)
Sincerely,
Dayle (who has way to much time on her hands, and should be cleaning rather than making up fake letters to companies)
The big 3 got out of school last week. Today marks the start of a summer at home with them. I'm looking at this with a mixture of dread and excitement. Last summer we were in Vegas. They had friends and were busy constantly. Now we are in our new home. We don't know any of our neighbors, none of them seem to have kids.
I have visions of this summer being wonderful, with it being just the family. Of the kids finding out that their siblings can be friends too, and all of us swimming, and playing games, and watching cartoons together on the couch in a big puppy pile.
And maybe we will all start a singing group and I'll make us all matching outfits out of the curtains, and we'll be just like the VonTrapp family.
The reality is that they will be chomping at the bit soon to "go do something" because they are "bored" and there is "nothing to do".
Sigh
I have visions of this summer being wonderful, with it being just the family. Of the kids finding out that their siblings can be friends too, and all of us swimming, and playing games, and watching cartoons together on the couch in a big puppy pile.
And maybe we will all start a singing group and I'll make us all matching outfits out of the curtains, and we'll be just like the VonTrapp family.
The reality is that they will be chomping at the bit soon to "go do something" because they are "bored" and there is "nothing to do".
Sigh
Tyler is all about the food. He's forever planning his next meal. He could be eating lunch, and he's already thinking about dinner. What can I say - the boy is a teen! (on a side note... & Palmer wonders why our grocery bill is going up? Really? Does he not realize the kid has grown 3 inches this year?)
Tyler constantly suggests that we go out to eat "as a family". I think he believes if he phrases his request as though he really wants to spend quality time with his family then we just can't resist. Somehow, I am supposed to believe that even though he was just fighting like cats and dogs with his sister, he really would like to break bread with her. Riiiiight. And it has nothing to do with the TGIFridays commercial he just watched.
But on the plus side, since he is always starving, he is interested in all aspects of food. It has been a wonderful chance to teach him how to plan meals, grocery shop on a budget, and cook. Oh, yes, the cooking! If I so much as rattle a pan, he pops his shaggy head into the kitchen and asks if he can help. This week alone I have taught him how to make biscuits, pound cake, and beef burgundy. I am proud to say that his cooking lessons have stuck with him. Last summer, when he spent some time with his Grandma and Papa, he wanted to make them a meal. So he went to the store, planned all his purchases (Grandma footed the bill of course) and made them dinner. He didn't take the easy road and make them hot dogs either. Nope my sweet boy made Pasta Carbonara with basil.
That's MY boy!
Tyler constantly suggests that we go out to eat "as a family". I think he believes if he phrases his request as though he really wants to spend quality time with his family then we just can't resist. Somehow, I am supposed to believe that even though he was just fighting like cats and dogs with his sister, he really would like to break bread with her. Riiiiight. And it has nothing to do with the TGIFridays commercial he just watched.
But on the plus side, since he is always starving, he is interested in all aspects of food. It has been a wonderful chance to teach him how to plan meals, grocery shop on a budget, and cook. Oh, yes, the cooking! If I so much as rattle a pan, he pops his shaggy head into the kitchen and asks if he can help. This week alone I have taught him how to make biscuits, pound cake, and beef burgundy. I am proud to say that his cooking lessons have stuck with him. Last summer, when he spent some time with his Grandma and Papa, he wanted to make them a meal. So he went to the store, planned all his purchases (Grandma footed the bill of course) and made them dinner. He didn't take the easy road and make them hot dogs either. Nope my sweet boy made Pasta Carbonara with basil.
That's MY boy!
I got my 1st real put two arms around my neck and squeeze hug from Izzy today. It thrilled me to my very toes that his sweet little baby arms were giving me love.
It is also sad, because I don't remember my 1st baby hugs from the big 3. Now granted, they are so much older than Izzy and time has passed; those little things get swept from your memories.
A friend asked me the other day how was it different now, being a mom of a baby in my 30's, as opposed to being a mom in my 20's. It is so much different. The 1st time around I was young and inexperienced. I was still learning who I was, and suddenly I had to learn who I was WITH children. I may have had more energy in my 20's, but I have so much more wisdom in my 30's. I am a completely different person, and have a much more relaxed approach to parenting than I did then.
The neat thing about there being 8 years between babies, it is like being a new mom all over again, with out the pressure, worry, and anxiety of being a new mom. Enough time has passed that the firsts are all new and exciting again.
I may not have planned Izzy, but I would never change having him for the world.
It is also sad, because I don't remember my 1st baby hugs from the big 3. Now granted, they are so much older than Izzy and time has passed; those little things get swept from your memories.
A friend asked me the other day how was it different now, being a mom of a baby in my 30's, as opposed to being a mom in my 20's. It is so much different. The 1st time around I was young and inexperienced. I was still learning who I was, and suddenly I had to learn who I was WITH children. I may have had more energy in my 20's, but I have so much more wisdom in my 30's. I am a completely different person, and have a much more relaxed approach to parenting than I did then.
The neat thing about there being 8 years between babies, it is like being a new mom all over again, with out the pressure, worry, and anxiety of being a new mom. Enough time has passed that the firsts are all new and exciting again.
I may not have planned Izzy, but I would never change having him for the world.
Yesterday was a very bad day for me. I was having a day where I was sick of staying at home, practically no contact with the outside world, since I had no internet. No one to call. I love my family, and I love being with them... but sometimes they are just to much, and I need to get out and not be "mom" all the time. Having gone through several years of pretty bad depression, I dread those days more than I can express. So when I have a bad day - I warn everyone off.
Hey, I'm crabby today so just stay out of my way and get along!
But the kids didn't want to listen. I told them when they got home from school it didn't seem to matter to them. Rather than jumping up and offering to help or taking my advise and getting out of my way, they just continued to cling on to me, or bicker with each other.
And it wasn't helped by Mr. Its-ok-for-me-to-be-a-crabby-dickhead-but-how-dare-you-be-anything-less-than-pleasant who asked me "Have I done something to piss you off? No? Then what the hell is your problem? If you are in such a bad mood, why don't you just go away."
Yes, that just sent me over the edge. He gets to go to work everyday. He gets to get out and talk to people, and see more than just this house. For pity sake - he can't stand to stay home one full day on his days off, yet he expects me to do it full time and never get bored of it.
I do love staying home, but some days I just need to see further than my mailbox.
Hey, I'm crabby today so just stay out of my way and get along!
But the kids didn't want to listen. I told them when they got home from school it didn't seem to matter to them. Rather than jumping up and offering to help or taking my advise and getting out of my way, they just continued to cling on to me, or bicker with each other.
And it wasn't helped by Mr. Its-ok-for-me-to-be-a-crabby-dickhead-but-how-dare-you-be-anything-less-than-pleasant who asked me "Have I done something to piss you off? No? Then what the hell is your problem? If you are in such a bad mood, why don't you just go away."
Yes, that just sent me over the edge. He gets to go to work everyday. He gets to get out and talk to people, and see more than just this house. For pity sake - he can't stand to stay home one full day on his days off, yet he expects me to do it full time and never get bored of it.
I do love staying home, but some days I just need to see further than my mailbox.
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